Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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