There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Four minutes until I can fart!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize