I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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