So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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