Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
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