i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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