is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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