I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize