My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
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As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
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Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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