Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
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i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
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Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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