The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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