Rock
Scissors
Fuck
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize