nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize