Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Are we still banned from the library?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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