her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize