I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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