dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
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Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
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Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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