I just threw up on my dentist
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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