I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize