Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
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He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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