My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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