is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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