He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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