I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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