So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
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But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
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Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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