the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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