is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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