I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
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You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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