Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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