I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize