dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize