i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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