you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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