Im at strip club and am horny
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
did i just pee glitter
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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