Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Pooping to opera.
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