it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
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It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
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I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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