omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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