We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
zippers are such a cool invention
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
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