i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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