Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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