Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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