my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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