Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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