we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
There's a naked man in my car right now.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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