the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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