So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
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After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
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i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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