Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
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The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
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CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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