does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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