I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best revenge is premature balding
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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