how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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